“It was as if my body was telling me, ‘What are you doing, Tona? Why are you doing this to yourself?”
This will sound out there. A few years ago, I ran into this person, a psychic of some sort. He gave me a reading and told me, ‘You will be moving to the East Coast and work at a fast food place.’ That’s crazy, I thought. I wasn’t going back to the East Coast, and I certaintly wasn’t going to work at some freakin’ fast food job.
And here I was, wearing a black Taco Bell uniform, working night shifts, waking up just in time to put B* to sleep before heading out. It was sad, I couldn’t hang out with her during the day anymore. And it was surreal, watching myself in those uniforms, making and serving fast food, something I never in my entire life thought I would do.
It was long hours standing up, but wasn’t all that bad. I actually enjoyed working, I really did. It would have been better if it wasn’t sad Taco Bell, she laughs. But I liked the feeling of it, earning that much a day, and feeling that I actually did something. A sense of accomplishment.
But it wasn’t a life I wanted for myself or for my daughter. All across the country, away from family and friends, working at Taco Bell. I was depressed and started to experience anxiety. It was as if my body was telling me, ‘What are you doing, Tona? Why are you doing this to yourself?’ And then – bam, bam, bam – a few things lined up, one of which was B’s father wanting to spend more time with her. The universe was whispering, ‘Here is your way out, Tona, just do it!’ And I did, I packed up our things and moved back to the West Coast.
One day, I remembered those words from years ago and realized the psychic was right. It was almost a prophesy of my life. Some things from it are still happening, but from what I remember, that was the worst of it.
* Tona’s daughter
Listen to interview snippets: